I’ll admit it: I’m an Oxford comma groupie. But there’s a methodology to my comma zealotry. There’s a difference between correctly comma-ing and looking like you’re drunk. (And yes, “comma-ing” is a word. I just made it up, but I’m claiming artistic license.)
In my book (i.e., my opinion, not my actual book), there is butt dialing, drunk texting, and what I dub “the blackout comma.” Why are they there? What is the logic? It’s a mystery that only the writer once knew. And they may not remember now.
- Do not use commas with lists of two.
- Do not use commas between subject and predicate
- Do not use commas around “essential people”
- Do not use commas between adjectives of size and/or color
Sure, we all slip and have one comma too many on occasion. It happens to the best of us. I just feel like I’ve seen a lot of intoxication lately. Maybe it’s just the season for beers at backyard barbecues and tropical drinks at the beach. Consider me your punctuation sponsor. It’s all about moderation, people.