semicolons

I want something else
To get me through this
Semicolon kinda life
Baby, Baby…

I’m thinking my version works—a “Schoolhouse Rocks” for ‘90s kids or the ‘90s nostalgic. I figure we need something new. No one seems to know how to use semicolons. They’re the misused and abused punctuation mark, thrown down without much thought. But they should have some dignity.

Semicolons should only be used in three situations:

1. Separating complete sentences. Always make sure that you have complete sentences on both sides of the semicolon here. You can combine two or more complete sentences in this way; there’s no real limit. (e.g., Third Eye Blind was a ‘90s standard; I never realized that song talked about doing meth; you’re looking up the lyrics now, aren’t you?)
2. Separating items in a complicated list. The definition of a complicated list is any list that has commas within it. (e.g., Some of the biggest Third Eye Blind songs that come to mind include Semi-charmed Kind of Life, released in 1997; Jumper, released in 1997; and How’s It Going To Be, also released in 1997.)
3. Winky faces 😉

Please stop using them where dashes or simply commas make more sense.

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…

Darn it, now that song’s in my head. Anyone else?