Writing Tip 152: Overusing “Then”
There was a chase. And then the good guy jumped over the fence, and then the bad guy saw the gate unlocked and ran through it after her (What? Who says the “good guy” can’t be a girl?). Then he caught up to her and grabbed her arm. Then she unleashed her inner woman warrior she’d tapped into in a recent self-defense class. He gasped and then groaned as he fell to the ground.
You know what’s wrong with this scene? Sure, many things, but one was exaggerated to make a point. We are over-using the word “then,” people!More