If you’re writing a story and the light bulb just flashed over your protagonist’s head, you really want to tell your readers all about it. “He suddenly realized…” you might write. But before you do, pause for a moment. Let’s talk about that realization and how you can show it to your readers.
Sure, we’ve talked about “showing versus telling” before, but the word “realized” deserves a conversation all to itself. There are a lot of words and phrases that writers over-use—another big one on this list is “suddenly,” for example—but becoming aware of how you use these words and why is the first step in bringing a story from okay to awesome.
Imagine the pieces of a puzzle are all set out for your character. You as the writer are allowing your readers to figure it out alongside her. “Then she realized what she needed to do,” you might write. But here’s a tip. You know what would be stronger? Showing the puzzle and then the action of putting it together, revealing the fumbles and successes, the struggle and drama of fitting the pieces together to take the place of the “realized.” Do you see how those details are what makes a story come alive?
This is true for big realizations (e.g., the name of the thief or that he loved her all along) or small ones (e.g., where she left her keys or how to untie the knot), but either way, allowing a reader to see the problem and watch how it is overcome can be stronger than the phrase “he/she/they realized.”
My challenge to you: search for “realiz” in your manuscript. (Note, my misspelling is intentional. Searching for “realiz” will catch “realize,” “realizing,” and other similar forms.) How many times do you use it? How many can you delete in favor of showing the realization in action or simply tightening the language of the sentence, erasing what is already clear? I bet you can cut 90% of them for a stronger result.
Does this seem really nit-picky? Indeed, it does. But these are the subtleties that can make a manuscript stand out from the millions of others on the shelves. And you want your book to stand out, don’t you?
Happy writing, everyone!